I teach kids in our church on Sunday mornings and in our midweek AWANA program. I also helped raise four kids, and was a paraprofessional in an elementary school for a time.
I love kids, and I love teaching. But sometimes, they can be trying, can’t they? One thing that raising and teaching kids has taught me is this: emotions are volatile, but we can learn to control them.
For kids, emotions can be overwhelming, and as parents and teachers, they can be equally overwhelming if we don’t learn to ride them successfully. Just like taming a wild horse to be a useful helper, we can tame our emotions.
The first step by all accounts to taming a wild horse is to gain its trust by remaining calm. When our emotions become wild, we need to remain calm as well. Instead of letting our emotions control us, making us shout, or cry, or whatever wild ride they take us on, we need to apply logic and calm to the situation. Sometimes, that means taking the time alone that is needed to control the tears or anger, thinking logically about why the emotions are so strong in us: Is it because we are overtired, or overworked? Are we taking something personally that perhaps was not intended? Is this emotion an overreaction? How should I react to this emotion in a safe way? Helping kids realize that they can do this is sometimes very difficult, but maintaining your own calmness helps model the behavior.
My own kids would have tales to tell about a mom that didn’t always maintain her own calm. We all lose control at some point of our emotions, but hopefully, we can be wise and apologize when needed, assure the child that we do love them, and move on to using logical ways to communicate with them. The heat of an argument may need to pass before we can do this necessary communication. As the adult, it is important to keep calm and bring up the topic at a later time with the child. Remembering that you are the adult helps you remember that your emotions can be controlled, as well.
As a teacher, we don’t always have the time to address individual children who need our help taming their wild horse emotions. Hopefully, there are helpers like school counselors and administrators that you can turn to, or paraprofessionals who can assist children in these situations.
I am not an educated educator, as in having the college education, but I hope that any of you who are will concur that learning to control your own emotions is an important part of being successful at teaching. And as a parent, I have learned that our children learn from us, even if we are not knowingly teaching them. So do yourself a favor, and learn to ride…your emotions!